Screw you, Cookie. Are you trying to say the things I treasure aren’t actually mine? Are you calling me a thief and kidnapper now, because I’m pretty sure my family, friends, and stuff all belongs to me? You don’t even know what you’re talking ’bout.
Or are you trying to tell me I’m a greedy little bitch? Don’t tell me who I am; I can buy and sell you, Cookie!
Filed under Nonsense
Screw you, Cookie. I negate all your bad vibes by A) knowing that you suck and B) doing something about it (aka this blog). So at least I know that much.
Filed under 'Tevs
Screw you, Cookie. So now my stupid, fat ass is ruining my family? Talk abouta 1-2…3 punch! Why didn’t you just put the url to Jenny Craig at the bottom of this “fortune?”
Filed under Need Therapy
When am I ever going to use this piece of information!? Screw you cookie, come back when you have something useful to teach me.
Filed under Nonsense
Screw you, Cookie. You can’t even give me a full fortune.
Filed under 'Tevs
Screw you, Cookie! Who do you think you are, my mother? I crack you open to find not a delightful peek into my future, but the cookie form of a scarlet letter. ‘L’ for loser?! How do you know I am not following my dreams? Maybe I dreamt of smashing fortune cookies…WITH MY TEETH. How do you like me now, bitch?
Filed under Need Therapy
Screw you, Cookie. I am neither boring nor inarticulate. (Simple enough for you?)
Screw you, Cookie. Just when I was feeling pretty good, you come along and tell me I don’t know how to conduct myself and that I am ugly on the inside. Also, Cookie, screw you for not being PC in your delivery of day-ruining putdowns (“his” own image). WTF?!
Filed under Ouch
